My prayer

As many of you know, I'm a musician.  Among many other things, I'm a musician.  Whatever else may be driving my inner being, music is one of them.  God knows this, so does satan unfortunately.  Thinking on the former, not the latter, there are a number of songs that just speak to me, kind of what I think the Psalms say.  So the following lyrics in my book are Psalms, they hold the same lyrical importance, they speak to me just like the Psalms.

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

For those of you who are astute christian music buffs, you'll know that this is from the Jars of Clay song Worlds Apart.  This song has spoken to me ever since I first heard it.  It sums up humanity in general, but my life more specifically.  It talks about being stuck between where satan would have you and where God wants you.  This last section though is where the "psalm" comes out, its the prayer, its pleading to God, its finally understanding the sacrifice, its a petition.  Really its what my heart is saying every time I break Gods heart by doing things that I know I shouldn't do.  This is the prayer I find myself praying, "Steal my heart and take my pain, take my selfish, take the weak, all the things I cannot hide, take the beauty and the tears, take my world apart."

This is not a prayer for the faint of heart, this is a prayer for those who have hit rock bottom, for those who just can't believe that they have fallen again, for those of us like Peter in Matthew 14, having the faith to get out of the boat, but letting pride get in the way.  Its a prayer that we have all prayed at one point or another.  Its my prayer tonight.

I look upon the empty cross, remembering what my life cost, and thank God that he hasn't given me what my sins say I should get.  Thank you God!!